Tuesday, 2 April 2013

The irony of Commitment

Do you ever feel like the universe is trying to send you messages?

I was reading a post by The Mind of Kevin - Freedom and Cages that reminded me of a profound moment in my life.

I was starting to realize my life was headed in a very routine direction... it scared me! A wave of panic was coming over me every time I looked at my planner or thought about my life. I didn't know if I was making the right decisions for me. - And decisions that seemed overly organized just didn't feel like me.

During this time of a pre-pre-midlife-crisis, I did something routine. I went to Starbucks in the morning and got my Cinnamon Dolce Latte. - There is comfort in some routines.

My cup seemingly screamed at me as I read the quote:

"The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating — in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." - Anne Morriss

Commitment is deeply liberating! - Could this be true? Was the universe trying to tell me something? The more I thought about it, the truer it seemed.

The truth is routine, and structure isn't actually all that scary. In fact, there is nothing more stressful and tiring than a crazy schedule that has no order. - Trust me, I know.

I took on 3 part-time jobs just to prove this theory. I thought a structure-less life would be fun, and exciting. A new adventure everyday. I never knew what I would be doing one week to the next.

The irony of my crazy experiment was that it was most un-liberating. I was too tired and scrambled to fit in time for my friends, hobbies, and even trying to keep a healthy diet was difficult. Without a plan I didn't really get to accomplish as much as I could have.

As Kevin Ferguson brings out in his blog there is a comfort in what we are familiar with. Like my Starbucks Lattes. As appealing as it may seem, living in the eye of a hurricane is not that great, long-term, at least. A lot of stress can be added to one's life by living chaotically.

So now I have presented myself with a new challenge. I challenge myself to being super organized. - However, now I'm making plans and creating routines around things that add joy to my life.

I have a job, people in my life, and hobbies that I love. They are worth planning for. Its a good life.

We shall see how liberating it is...

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